About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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