if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
