Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
