come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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