Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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