There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
