So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
