More tranny stories later!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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