im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
