Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
