I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize