I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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