Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this beer tastes like vomit already
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
