Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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