she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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