Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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