He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
