I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
