This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
