my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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