dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
