you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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