Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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