I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
