it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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