im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
