it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
