You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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