He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
