Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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