I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
