I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
