How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
