Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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