You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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