Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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