The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
