He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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