forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
