SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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