I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
