there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize