Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
