i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
