omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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