he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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