i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
