Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
