it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
