he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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