Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
