Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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