ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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