you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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