My hand turned me down
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
