Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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