I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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